15 Warning Signs To Watch For When Considering Potential Life Partners

8. whenever you mention having kids one day, he puts on an incredible and intricate magic show that always ends with his being sawed in half.

9. during make out sessions she stops, mid-kiss, gives directions such as “I don’t know if the audience will find that believable” and “pretend you’ve been with a living, breathing human female before” and “are you okay if I check my mentions while we do this?” before the next take.

10. on romantic walks, he insists on playing death metal on his portable wireless speaker at maximum volume.