Maybe there’s also a certain threshold for rewards net of costs, and when a relationship goes below this threshold, we don’t really care if we’ve been going out with them for two decades. We finally realize that we don’t have to move from one relationship to the next; we know in our bones that we have more peace alone than in the relationship.
So, to be a good lover, you need to ensure rewards are always more than costs. How much more? Relationship experts recommend at least five or more positive interactions with your partner for every negative interaction. This should keep the commitment on a high.
But if the negative interaction is more serious and violates a core need in your partner, then it no longer becomes a simple numbers game. You can try upping the rewards more, but the rewards will have to negate the impact of the cost and more.